Cigarettes & Gum

I think that cigarette companies should develop their own gum or breath freshener that they can sell with their cigarettes as a package deal. It's really irritating when coworkers who smoke come asking me for gum or mints. If they're smokers, I think they should be well prepared with their own supply of breath fresheners. Maybe cigarettes could come with a piece of gum, the way baseball cards do.

All in the name of making our world smell just a little better.

Baby Giant

There is a child in my apartment building who is entirely too large to be in a stroller. When standing, this child actually comes up to my chest. She can walk perfectly fine, but it seems that she just likes to be pushed around all day in her stroller. Let's call her baby giant.

I first noticed her a few months ago and thought to myself, "That kid is WAY to big to be in a stroller." But I let it go. It actually became quite funny to see her around, since she made the stroller look miniature.

But then, just last week, I was home for lunch when the baby giant was in the elevator with me. I was shocked to see that she was standing, and even more shocked when I saw what she was doing. Her mother had hung a large Duane Reade bag on the handle of the stroller, and baby giant was in the process of putting her pacifiers into it. Yes, pacifiers, as in plural. She didn't just have one, but she had TWO! I was in shock. I couldn't believe this kid, or her mother. I mean, don't kids usually get weaned off their pacifiers by the time they're three?

I no longer think it's funny when I see baby giant anymore. I actually feel kinda sad for the next generation.

Stench

As I was walking to work today, I noticed the distinct smell of urine. Usually, the odor lasts rather briefly as I pass the violated area, but today, the odor lasted an usually long time. I started to walk faster and faster, but the odor would still linger. Finally, I looked up and realized that there was a homeless woman walking in front of me and that I was exactly downwind of her. I stepped to the side and walked around her, and immediately the air became fresher.

Ewww.