Wednesday, March 31, 2004

The Stinky Banana Peel

I usually try to avoid Chinatown on weekends, but felt compelled to brave the crowds on Sunday and stock up on produce for the week. I was glad I did – I got three pounds of bananas for a dollar, and two boxes of strawberries for a dollar each.

Monday morning at the office, I was happily eating one of my bananas. As I reached the end of my banana, I realized that I didn’t want to throw the peel away in my trash can, which is under my desk. I hate the way banana peels smell after they’ve been sitting for a few hours, and definitely didn’t want to odor wafting up from below me. I dangled my banana peel for a moment, considering its fate, when it struck me – put it in the trash can of someone I don’t like.

Now, my department is being outsourced. To make room for the consultants that are going to be taking over most everyone’s job functions, they have been moving some of my coworkers to my side of the floor. One of these coworkers moved into the cube next to mine – someone I don’t like because he’s an arrogant ass. Let’s call him AA from this point forward.

AA typically doesn’t waltz into the office until around 10:30 AM, so I had plenty of time to throw my banana peel into his trash can. I stood up, deposited my trash, smiled, and then sat back down, quite proud of myself. As I sat at my desk waiting for AA to get into the office, I started to get paranoid. Would he be able to smell the banana on my breath and then know that it was I who threw the banana peel in his trash can? How passive-aggressive was I really being by doing this?

I soon forgot about the banana peel, and it turns out that AA had the day off on Monday. So Tuesday, I tried to give him my stinky banana peel again. Unfortunately, he didn’t come into the office on Tuesday either.

It is now Wednesday at 10:32 AM and my uneaten banana is sitting here beside me on my desk. Sadly, AA is already at his desk and I’ll be unable to give him my stinky banana peel. Maybe he’ll come in at his usual time tomorrow, because I only have one more banana. Hopefully, it won’t go to waste.