Culture Shock
I am always excited to attend weddings. So when I found out months ago that my cousin was getting married in Taipei, I was even more excited than usual. I was going to get a chance to attend a Taiwanese wedding and learn more about my culture!
So it turns out that a Taiwanese wedding is an all-day event that starts at 11 in the morning. My cousin went to pick up his bride at her parents’ home, and they started the procession back to our house, where we were all waiting. But en route, one of my aunts started babbling something about how my sister and I were not allowed to be downstairs and see the bride until after they finished praying at the Buddhist altar so we better go hide in our room upstairs.
At first I thought my aunt was joking, but then my grandma started to chime in too. Something about not knowing if our birth dates would conflict, so if my sister or I were to conflict on a spiritual level with the bride, then it would be bad luck for the new couple, so we weren’t supposed to see her until after they finished praying.
In disbelief, my sister and I went upstairs and sat in our bedroom. I couldn’t believe that I was going to miss the whole thing! I mean, there was still activity after this small ceremony, and then the huge wedding banquet for dinner that night, but I wanted to see everything. I didn't travel for over 20 hours for nothing!
From downstairs, we could hear the voices floating up through our window. “They’re here! Hurry up!” And then, the sound of firecrackers announced the arrival of the new couple. Sigh, I missed the firecrackers.
Suddenly, my uncle opened the bedroom door and asked my sister and I what we were doing hiding in the bedroom. “They told us that we weren’t allowed to see the bride!” we complained. He then told us that it was all right since we were younger than the bride.
Whoohoo! I was being released! I rushed out of the bedroom to make a dash for the stairs to catch what I could. However, once I made it out to the living room, I came to a sliding, and embarrassing halt.
The Buddhist altar in our house is upstairs in the living room. By the time I was released from my cage, the bride and groom had already made it up the stairs to pray at the altar, and I had just cut them off and probably got in the way of a bunch of pictures. Did I mess up their ceremony? Was this a total cultural faux pas?
Well, I brushed it off and started taking a load of pictures. I mean, c’mon, I missed the firecrackers, at least I should get pictures of all of this. After they finished praying, the wedding procession continued into their new bedroom, where they posed for pictures and drank tea, which I am sure symbolizes something. Too bad no one could explain a lot of these traditions to me.
The wedding couple went back to the upstairs living room, where they sat and ate a rice ball soup. And then the ceremony was over. “Are they married now?” I asked my mom. “I think so,” she replied.
And then it was time for lunch. The bride and groom had to stay at home, but the rest of the wedding party headed out for a huge lunch at a nearby restaurant, after which we would bring the wedding couple food. According to tradition, the bride cannot eat anything before the ceremony, must stay dressed in her bridal gown, and cannot leave the new house until it was time for the wedding banquet that night. Sadly, no one could explain the meaning of this tradition to me either. But it did seem rather painful and sadistic to the bride.
So it makes me wonder, all these traditions that no one can explain make up the Taiwanese culture. And these traditions seem what I would call superstitious in nature. I’m sure that once, these superstitions had more meaning, but now-a-days, it seems that people comply with these superstitions just for the sake of it.
Two days later my family went to the temple where my grandfather’s ashes are kept and the bride and groom couldn’t come with us. Apparently, for four months after getting married, they are not allowed to attend any weddings, funerals, or gravesites. Another one of these superstitions I don’t quite understand.
In high school, my sister and I were bored and decided to rearrange the furniture in her room while my parents were at work. When we were finished, the foot of her bed was facing the door to her room. My mom came home from work and started freaking out about the arrangement immediately.
“You have to change your room. Never face the bed out the door – dead people are taken out of their homes feet-first,” she explained.
Although I found it strange, we eventually moved the bed, and I will never be able to sleep in a room where the bed faces out the door because of what my mother said.
I come from a culture that says not to shake your legs or else all the money will fall out of your pockets. Or not to leave your chopsticks sticking straight up in your bowl because (1) that’s how the incense is placed when you pray and (2) dead people will come and eat your food (which is apparently bad luck). Or to place a mirror over your door if your house faces an electrical structure, like a lamppost, in order to reflect any evil energy away. Or to eat all your rice, because if you don’t, then your future husband will have the same number of pockmarks on his face as the number of rice kernels left in your bowl.
Is that all culture is? Just a bunch of superstitions? Maybe so, and while I might have once thought that would be a bad thing, it makes life a little more interesting.
So it turns out that a Taiwanese wedding is an all-day event that starts at 11 in the morning. My cousin went to pick up his bride at her parents’ home, and they started the procession back to our house, where we were all waiting. But en route, one of my aunts started babbling something about how my sister and I were not allowed to be downstairs and see the bride until after they finished praying at the Buddhist altar so we better go hide in our room upstairs.
At first I thought my aunt was joking, but then my grandma started to chime in too. Something about not knowing if our birth dates would conflict, so if my sister or I were to conflict on a spiritual level with the bride, then it would be bad luck for the new couple, so we weren’t supposed to see her until after they finished praying.
In disbelief, my sister and I went upstairs and sat in our bedroom. I couldn’t believe that I was going to miss the whole thing! I mean, there was still activity after this small ceremony, and then the huge wedding banquet for dinner that night, but I wanted to see everything. I didn't travel for over 20 hours for nothing!
From downstairs, we could hear the voices floating up through our window. “They’re here! Hurry up!” And then, the sound of firecrackers announced the arrival of the new couple. Sigh, I missed the firecrackers.
Suddenly, my uncle opened the bedroom door and asked my sister and I what we were doing hiding in the bedroom. “They told us that we weren’t allowed to see the bride!” we complained. He then told us that it was all right since we were younger than the bride.
Whoohoo! I was being released! I rushed out of the bedroom to make a dash for the stairs to catch what I could. However, once I made it out to the living room, I came to a sliding, and embarrassing halt.
The Buddhist altar in our house is upstairs in the living room. By the time I was released from my cage, the bride and groom had already made it up the stairs to pray at the altar, and I had just cut them off and probably got in the way of a bunch of pictures. Did I mess up their ceremony? Was this a total cultural faux pas?
Well, I brushed it off and started taking a load of pictures. I mean, c’mon, I missed the firecrackers, at least I should get pictures of all of this. After they finished praying, the wedding procession continued into their new bedroom, where they posed for pictures and drank tea, which I am sure symbolizes something. Too bad no one could explain a lot of these traditions to me.
The wedding couple went back to the upstairs living room, where they sat and ate a rice ball soup. And then the ceremony was over. “Are they married now?” I asked my mom. “I think so,” she replied.
And then it was time for lunch. The bride and groom had to stay at home, but the rest of the wedding party headed out for a huge lunch at a nearby restaurant, after which we would bring the wedding couple food. According to tradition, the bride cannot eat anything before the ceremony, must stay dressed in her bridal gown, and cannot leave the new house until it was time for the wedding banquet that night. Sadly, no one could explain the meaning of this tradition to me either. But it did seem rather painful and sadistic to the bride.
So it makes me wonder, all these traditions that no one can explain make up the Taiwanese culture. And these traditions seem what I would call superstitious in nature. I’m sure that once, these superstitions had more meaning, but now-a-days, it seems that people comply with these superstitions just for the sake of it.
Two days later my family went to the temple where my grandfather’s ashes are kept and the bride and groom couldn’t come with us. Apparently, for four months after getting married, they are not allowed to attend any weddings, funerals, or gravesites. Another one of these superstitions I don’t quite understand.
In high school, my sister and I were bored and decided to rearrange the furniture in her room while my parents were at work. When we were finished, the foot of her bed was facing the door to her room. My mom came home from work and started freaking out about the arrangement immediately.
“You have to change your room. Never face the bed out the door – dead people are taken out of their homes feet-first,” she explained.
Although I found it strange, we eventually moved the bed, and I will never be able to sleep in a room where the bed faces out the door because of what my mother said.
I come from a culture that says not to shake your legs or else all the money will fall out of your pockets. Or not to leave your chopsticks sticking straight up in your bowl because (1) that’s how the incense is placed when you pray and (2) dead people will come and eat your food (which is apparently bad luck). Or to place a mirror over your door if your house faces an electrical structure, like a lamppost, in order to reflect any evil energy away. Or to eat all your rice, because if you don’t, then your future husband will have the same number of pockmarks on his face as the number of rice kernels left in your bowl.
Is that all culture is? Just a bunch of superstitions? Maybe so, and while I might have once thought that would be a bad thing, it makes life a little more interesting.
posted by danielle at 1:44 PM
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