Guess that Asian

This letter was sent to FreshDirect on August 27, 2003

To whom it may concern:

I have used FreshDirect a number of times now, and yesterday was the first time I felt the need to voice concern over the service I received regarding Order #57786119.

I had a delivery scheduled for yesterday evening between 6 - 8 pm. Due to delays on the subway, I arrived home at 6:15 pm, only to discover that FreshDirect had already attempted to deliver. As the delivery man said he would return again, I knew he would come again at the end of his delivery run. However, when it was already 8:45 pm, I was growing concerned and wanted to know if I should have called to notify FreshDirect that I was now home. As a result, I called Customer Service to know if there was anything I could do. The lady I spoke with was very helpful (very nice, I might add), and while I was on the phone with her, the delivery man arrived at my door. I let her know that the delivery was here, and that everything was fine, then hung up. Once I was off the phone, the delivery man began to complain.

First, he proceeded to tell me how he came at 6:30 pm. I know for a fact that he was not at my apartment at 6:30 pm, because I was home. I distinctly remember seeing the end of "Dharma & Greg" on television, which is on from 6 - 6:30 pm. I apologized for not being home at 6 pm, but let him know that I was definitely home at 6:30 pm. Then he told me that just before he arrived again, my doorman called upstairs to my apartment and found the phone line busy - this was because I was on the phone with Customer Service. However, my doorman was smart enough to realize that since the phone line was busy, someone was home, so he allowed the delivery man to come up to my apartment.

As he dropped off my order, the delivery man began insisting that I call Customer Service again to let them know that he made the delivery. I explained to him that when I opened the door, I was talking to Customer Service and already told them that he had arrived and there were no problems. Again, he asked me to call Customer Service, so that they would not call him back and wonder why he didn't make his delivery. Again, I told him that I already did that. Again, he asked me to do it anyways. Then he asked me if I was Chinese, to which I said, "No". Then he asked me if I was Korean, and again, I said, "NO". At this point, I just wanted him out of my apartment. I don't enjoy playing "Guess that Asian" and do not understand people's fascination of knowing what type of Asian I am. Trust me, I do not look like an exotic Asian; however, people, especially middle-aged men, love to try playing "Guess that Asian" with me. I felt the impulse to tell Mr. Delivery Man that I was black.

Here's a poem I wrote that was inspired by Mr. Delivery Man:

Chinese? Japanese?
No, stop asking me please.
Just drop off my food And get out, just leave.

Please note that this is not a haiku.

I finally succeeded in closing the door on Mr. Delivery Man, but not before he told me to call Customer Service again (which I didn't. I had no desire to be on hold).

So the point of the letter is this: please tell your delivery men not to play "Guess that Ethnic Origin" with any of your customers. Not everyone finds the game fun, and some may find it offensive. As a number of people in my building order food from your company, I will be sure to post this letter up so that all can see - and that unless they want to undergo an inquisition by a racist delivery man, they would be better off visiting the local Gristedes.

P.S. I once received an order of moldy asparagus, but let it go. Out of fear, I have not ordered asparagus from your service again. I didn't report it then, but I probably should have, considering that it was $1.99/lb.